26 January 2009

Poker Face

"Suddenly silence is the strongest card I have to play..."

While listening to some awesome folk, by a friend of mine, (Check her out on MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/sarahbolen) I was struck by this line. It seems that I always lead with my most intense, boldest, and loudest cards first...only to regret it later. I wonder why that is. Silence is often the strongest card.

Recently, I've been lobbing ideas back and forth in my mind about what I want to pursue in grad school. I know I've talked about this far too much already...I'm sure it's boring by now. Consider yourself warned. :)

Business school has been something that has appealed to me, but largely because it would increase my ability to earn money. What about something else that would improve my life? A degree that would give me a job that I would enjoy, care about and feel engaged in? Now, I'm not so naive that I don't realize that no job is 100% wonderful all the time, but I'd like something that feels a little more good, and a little less greedy. That sounds far more appealing that being thrust into the rat race. I've thought about degrees in (well, Victorian Lit, for one,) counseling, psychology, social work, public health, etc. I think I might prefer something other than business - something with a little more human interaction. I was advised to more aggressively start talking to people in these lines of work or pursuing degrees of this sort. I've been working hard to schedule some meetings and get myself educated.

I wonder, with as much as I like to talk, am I nearly a good enough listener? Will I be a good sounding board for someone who needs me to be 95% silence and 5% feedback? I hope so. For someone as bold and loud and crass as I, it seems like it might be a far cry from my normal MO. I suppose, ultimately, that I am a good listener, but I don't know that to be enough to change midstream to a new career. But if that's not enough when coupled with a genuine desire to help others, work with people toward a broader goal and generally do whatever small part I can to change the human condition...I don't know what is enough.

1 comment:

borntoride said...

policy schoo. there is still time to apply for fall. (mofos won't start looking at apps until march.)